Guess What Sucks

   You know what sucks? 
   Joaquin Phoenix.
   He TOTALLY sucks.
    I picked up We Own The Night from the library the other day, thinking, “Hey, here’s a good chance to see Marky Mark and Joaquin Phoenix shoots guns and get laid for an hour and a half.  It even has an Eva Mendez to ogle.  [...]

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Man I love Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  What happened?
Wow does this guy ever fucking smile?   He must be so deep and introspective that he doesn’t have to smile at all.  Actually… when Sean Penn DOES smile… it has a bittersweet feeling to it, like he is smiling… but not because he is happy.  Its [...]

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    Ahhh Billy Crystal
   Who likes this guy?  I’m totally in the dark as to why and how this no talent coat hanger got so fucking famous.  He is famous in a very adult and contemporary sense, kinda like Sting or Paul Simon .  He isn’t too raunchy which means he is safe and he appears at charity events. [...]

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      OK ill give it up to Al Pacino for The Godfather.  He was brilliant in it.  Id even go so far to say that he was amazing in Dog Day Afternoon… and even Serpico was pretty good.  Heat… Carlito’s Way… The Insider…  all great movies.  He has had his moments.
   But that’s it.  A handful [...]

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      Guy Ricthie is a hack director who makes confusing and complicated shitty movies. A lot of people say that he hasn’t made a good movie since he married Madonna.  I think they’re all bad. 
    Any time I’m watching one of his movies I feel like I’m about to have a goddamn seizure.  Is it [...]

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          Wouldn’t it be nice if music transported us to a beach somewhere?  A cool and beautiful beach that reminds us of summer and fun in the sun… (YAWN)  and uhhh…   flip flops and uhhh…  Jesus I’m exhausted.  I mean If a guy who plays an acoustic guitar can wear flip flops and [...]

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     Apparently there are people out there who think that this douche bag is funny.  Its obvious to anyone with half a brain and no water on it that he sucks.  Did Comedy Central just pick a Hispanic comedian out of a hat (possibly a sombrero?) to fill their demographic hole?   I can just imagine a [...]

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