You know how you see bands that have been around for decades… and you joke with your friends that they are worthless old farts who don’t know when to throw in the towel? I don’t think that’s a very nice thing to say about these musicians. A lot of these bands got into it for the long haul and they had no intention of ever stopping. They don’t know how to be anything else, which is sad, yes…but I think that this is overshadowed buy their sheer resilience and undying will to keep going. They are doing what they love to do and what they are good at. I mean what else could Mick Jagger do except be Mick Jagger? Its not about the money… its about living the dream man.
This is not the case with the rock band Aerosmith… an uninteresting, boring, cliche rock band that gets much more credit than they deserve despite the fact that they suck a huge boring rock n roll limp dick.
They are basically the American version of the Rolling Stonesin their 1970’s burnout stage. They have a big lipped lead singer who struts all over the stage like a rooster and his onstage foil is a quiet and doped up looking fella who plays the same guitar solos over and over again. The other 3 guys nobody gives a shit about, but they are still up there playing and aging so they’re “cool” I guess. Whatever. This is pure mimicry… not a single ounce of originality or exciting newness to the material that they claim to hold in such high reverence. Not a single album or song or stupid note cant be found on albums from dozens of other cliche 70’s rock bands that ALL wanted to be the Stones. They kept on releasing poo poo to the masses until drugs and rock star assholery took over and they split up.
Now these fucking spare tires should have done one of three things
1. Die in a plane crash or some horrific bus accident.
2. Die of drug overdoses
3. Broke up. STAY broke up.
Somehow this talentless 3rd rate excuse for a rock band cleaned their act up in the 80’s and reunited to write and record some of the lamest shittiest stupidest rock songs to ever exist. They somehow got their shit together and went from an bombastic and fairly ordinary rock band to an example of how even rock stars can overcome their addictions and still make great music. I think they should have had a clause in their record contract that forces them to do loads of speedballs and blow and smack. So they spread their self righteous ass cheeks wide open off of their high horse and we’ve been eating it ever since. The list of sub par rock FM radio standards is too long to get into here. But I will make mention of two specific songs that cannot go ignored.
“Love in an Elevator”~ A song about two people who fall in love in an elevator. Like that could EVER happen! Wake up Mr. Tyler!!! Some of these famous types are just too far removed from reality.
&
“Livin’ on the Edge”~ A song about old rock stars who don’t know when to quit rocking while they are living their drug free millionaire asshole lifestyles.
I don’t trust people who really like Aerosmith. Like when people say…
Oh man they are like my FAVORITE rock band EVER!!!
Really? Seriously? I mean you actually go out and pay money for their records? Do you know anything about Rock and (or) Roll??? I bet your favorite thing to eat at an fancy restaurant is the burger on the kids menu… and your favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla. Ive also heard a lot of people try and say…
Well they’re earlier stuff from the 70’s was good
I don’t think that the handful of material they had in the 70’s is good enough to justify them going on and writing songs like ”Amazing” or “Cryin’” How far can they go on riding out their early days while they continue releasing records that might as well be made out of horseshit and labeled “for nostalgic purposes only”
Fuck Aerosmith. Fuck em in the 70’s… fuck em in the 80’s… fuck em now. Their entire careers have been based on AND allowed to continue by American pop music mediocrity and the audience that follows it.
They suck.
11 responses so far ↓
1 Lardy Be // Sep 21, 2008 at 6:02 pm
FIRST!
2 Jim Russell // Sep 21, 2008 at 6:48 pm
YOU don’t know anything about Rock N’ Roll! Aerosmith kicks fucking ass! There 70’s stuff is totally bad-ass funky rock, and most of the stuff they’ve done since is at least good pop music, some of it great (except that song about an asteroid about 10 years ago.) Also they are amazing live! I will give you that they have WAY too many compilation albums, and thats pretty lame, but all those bands from that time have done that-Kiss, Van Halen, Motley Crue etc. luckily AC/DC haven’t been guilty of this, yet. By your logic, The Stones suck too, just because they’re not near as good as they used to be! Both bands probably should of died in the early 80’s, but whatever, they didn’t!
3 poopsmith mcgee // Sep 21, 2008 at 9:30 pm
THIRD!
4 Matthew Zager // Sep 22, 2008 at 10:53 am
Oh Anus, you knew I would have something to say about this. In my late teens I was a HUGE Aerosmith fan, they were the first rock band I really liked. Of course a couple of years later I heard the Ramones and everything changed for the better.
Anyway, having been a huge fan and purchased/listened to almost everything they have produced, I can honestly say Aerosmith does in fact suck. I am one of those people that think they had some amazing rock singles in the 70’s, but I agree with you… the massive piles of suck they have put out since then overrides any of those songs. All a person ever needs to own of theirs is the first Aerosmith Greatest Hits record.
I remember getting one of the worst records ever made, “Get a Grip” and hearing the song “Eat the Rich”. Steven Tyler, a rich self-indulgent asshole actually wrote a song about how he hates rich people. That was the end for me.
One final note, “Dream On” is one of the most overrated songs ever.
5 Matthew Zager // Sep 22, 2008 at 11:09 am
Anus, will you fucking give vanilla ice cream a break? I mean I understand if you are talking about bland midwest vanilla, but nothing beats a scoop of So Cal vanilla ice cream… it’s served in an avocado and gives one the most pleasurable shits ever!!
6 Marshall's Sour Clam Chowder // Sep 22, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Too True, Brother Anus, Too True! I don’t think there is another band on the planet that infuriates me and burns my brain than fucking aerosmith. To make matters worse, I have to temper my criticism because my drummer LOVES THEM. Oh yeah, most the 70’s stuff, but not exclusively. Back to the point. If there is anyone in the world that I would love to murder with absolute impunity Steven Tyler would have to be it. Aerosmith sucks
7 Danny Anus // Sep 23, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Dear Jim Russell,
The Rolling Stones took American blues and transformed it into a sexy rock n roll beast. They sold our own musical past back to us and they did it with great style and gusto. Aerosmith took ONE part of their fantastic career… and based their whole shitty sound on it. Badly.
8 Jared: Such strange days // Sep 23, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Who the fuck is Aerosmith?
Are they the guys that tried to sound like Led Zepplin on that one song? Or were they the guys that did that whole band-fronted-symphonic song on some movie soundtrack that I can’t recall. One of those guys had a hot daughter that he whored out in his music videos, right?
If I’m getting close, then every second of every song played live or recorded has been full of and created by a giant pile of Fail and AIDS. They may be a shadow within God’s glowing and eternal light of love and forgiveness, yet even the devil turns his back on the sound.
Being the thief of a thief, they further refine, distill, and destroy that which they attempt to emulate. Every American black man that ever picked up a guitar between the birth of the instrument and and 1967 will continue to roll in their graves for the tragic abortion to a heartfelt musical medium present to us by these over-the-hill, clean living, out of touch, self-parodies.
Steven Tyler waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were musicians in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Joe Perry were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Steven was a rock star for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the rockstars and he said to dad “I want to be the rock stars daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY MUSICIANS”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the radio station base of the WUAC he knew there were musicians.
“This is Faggot” the radio crackered. “You must fight the musicians!”
So Steven gotted his microphone and threw a scraf at the wall.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the musicians.
“I will shoot at him” said the blues musician and he fired the rock and roll. Steven wailed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
“No! I must kill the musicians” he shouted
The radio said “No, John. You are the musicians”
And then Steven was a shitstain.
9 Jim Russell // Sep 23, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Fine, all of you sheep continue to suck on Danny’s balls! None of you are invited to my KISS/Aerosmith/Motley Crue party I’m having next week!!!
10 Matthew Zager // Sep 23, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Hey everybody!! Tom Waits/Wilco/Guided by Voices/western style shirt party next week at my place!!
P.S. Danny be sure and bring those succulent balls of yours!
11 . // Oct 29, 2008 at 1:28 am
i dont think aerosmith fans like vanilla ice cream. They seen like the ones who cream their pants over giant combination bags of extra spicy buffalo and cooler ranch doritos.
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