Wow. Never in my life have been exposed to such self adulation and regard than at a fucking art show. It doesn’t matter if the person is talented or not. Being an artist doesn’t even require talent. Thousands and thousands of years of self expression reduced down to a bunch of quippy ass clowns standing around with cheap wine in their hands… jerking each other off and saying out loud what they should keep inside their heads.
This is Art. Art sucks.
You see… this is a pretty touchy subject with alot of people. I mean art is beautiful. It touches people in ways that other things cannot, and people take things VERY personally when it comes to art. It defines culture doesn’t it? Doesn’t art bridge the gap between what makes us animals… and what makes us human?
Not anymore.
Art is now a giant masturbation factory. Nobody outside the art world gives a shit… and come to think of it, most people in the art world don’t give a shit about art that much either. People who know nothing about art will pay top dollar for something a fucking child could ve done in 10 minutes. Then the artist will grow a massive ego about said sold art and proceed to stroke their imaginary artistic cocks about it, in public… in private… ANYWHERE that ANYONE would even hear it. There is a certain air of pompous assholery that bleeds from these peoples pores… infecting anyone around them. The real shame, however, is that 95% of modern art is complete and total shit. Its not interesting or original or even pleasant to look at. It is simply there as pornography for the eyes of the artist in hopes that SOMEONE will see it and compliment it. Which everyone will do.
Lets face it. Nobody is going to tell someone that their art sucks a fat mule dick. Its just impolite. So what happens? You get an armada of self righteous douchebags walking around acting like they are on some other plane of existence from the “common folk” Give me a motherfucking break. I could pick up a dozen sheets of paper… shit on all of them… use some hot glue and some glitter… hang em up and BANG!!! Look who’s an up and coming artist. Its meaningless self gratification and nobody cares about it except the artist and their massive ego.
Wanna know whats even more sickening? The fact that people pay tens of thousands of dollars so that they can say this sentence:
“I went to art school”
It makes my head hurt in ways i cannot describe to know that there are people whose lives hang in the balance over the issue of a few hundred dollars, yet others will fork over a small fortune to be a douchebag. You want some recognition? Here’s a piece of paper with your name on it. Now Im going to wipe my ass with it. Here you go. Could I have 30 grand please? its a fucking scam and I pity the person that falls for it.
“Wow Danny… you are completely out of touch with culture and you are so ignorant and stupid. Fuck you”
No Fuck art and the people who grease up the artistic assholes who buy it and sell it and make it. I’m setting the record straight. Art has become furniture. It is there simply to exist and to make talentless spare tires feel like they are accomplishing something. You wanna feel good about yourself? Suck my balls. Ill give you a cookie afterwards and you can show all your friends how AMAZING you are at sucking balls.
15 responses so far ↓
1 Jim // Aug 20, 2008 at 6:55 pm
fuck’n A Danman! I’ll tell these fartknocking cockmongers their art blows! Lets him up first Friday next time and just be total dicks!
2 Matthew Zager // Aug 20, 2008 at 7:15 pm
The sad truth is that real art died with Norman Rockwell.
3 Awesome Emily Zager // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Okay. There was a time when I might have read this and gotten offended and pissed off because “Art” was my life. I worked in my mom’s art gallery… I was taking art history classes at JCCC… then I proceeded to work at the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art…
But.
You’re so right. Art is stupid. I can’t tell you how many face-lifted rich bitches with their caked-on pancake batter makeup and their gaudy jewelry came in and KISSED my mother’s ASS because she was sooooo great at selling them art. I can’t tell you how many sickeningly fake “friendships” were forged between my mom and people who spent assloads of money in her stupid gallery. I can’t tell you how much I despised the woman she was when she was running that place and was my “boss”. And you’re dead on about the shows, those were awful nights of ass kissing… I hated them.
It got worse when I went to the museum. Working at the museum made me stop majoring in art history. Why? Because I saw the kind of person I had potential to be if I pursued it… I didn’t want to be some stuffy stuck up douchebag who wouldn’t even speak to anyone in a lesser position at the museum… I didn’t want to be that person who walked around with a false air of importance so I could have my damn PhD in ART. I hated those people and hated art because of them and stopped going to school!
Now, on the other hand let me add one more thing. I LOVED my art history classes… and the teacher who taught them. She was amazingly passionate about it… and while I agree that modern art is horse shit… I think that eras in the past were gorgeous and amazing and they are what art was meant to be. You know, before thousands of reproductions of the same picture in every household, of artists trying desperately to copy the greatness of the past.
Long winded I know… but you hit on something I had a lot to say about!!!
4 Danny Anus // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Wow. I mean really. Wow.
5 Josh Lane // Aug 20, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I really enjoyed this. I do think you might have made a slight generalization though. I believe 94% of modern art is total shit. seriously though….”Art sucks”, does art really suck? just some of it, right? It’s just a classic case of the poser.
6 madsilver // Aug 21, 2008 at 1:02 pm
yeah living in austin for a year was the worst, every shity cafe and store in general had stupid art around it, like a bunch of smashed up tv’s, this is art, i also just hate most places there, like a cafe where all their dishes dont match, its like who care about dishes matching, we are cool cant you tell. look at our unmatching dishes.
7 Erin // Aug 21, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I totally agree with this on so many levels…and the funny thing is that I am workin on a grant submission to make art to be given away to people as “prizes” for being the best at “whatever” the thing is about. What is it and why does it matter anyway? When I make art, it really means nothing. A line here, a circle there - there is really nothing brilliant about it. Or the guy that does the little paint by number thang at the frame shop. You know what I think is real art - the hairballs that my cat pukes up daily - seriously - it looks like a terd but it comes out her mouth - how does she do it? Talent - that’s how, Now, will someone pass me the bottle of wine?
8 artstag // Aug 21, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
–modern lovers
9 bob ross // Aug 21, 2008 at 9:01 pm
warhol said it best:
“Making money is art and working is art. And good business is the best art.”
10 Danny Anus // Aug 22, 2008 at 9:24 am
Artstag totally awesome… he WASNT called an asshole… not like you.
11 artstag // Aug 22, 2008 at 9:30 am
check out my website biyaatch……
12 Danny Anus // Aug 22, 2008 at 10:55 am
Dear Artstag,
Your link goes to nowhere. Internet nowhere.
Love Danny Anus
13 artstag // Aug 22, 2008 at 1:08 pm
unfortunately the web servers are down. the domain name still stands…..check it dude.
14 Quick Chris // Sep 4, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Yup! Here is a stupid story about idiocy of Art. At my work this girl was going to start working in the store, and she was referred by a co-worker. So long story short. This new girl has no time to work because she is in 2 AP, super genius, BS High school Honors art class. She says that she has to spend all of her time working on projects, so she has no time to make money. Instead she is wasting her life spending all of her time meticulously working on her art. I mean come on, and obviously she is going to an art college after high school. What a waste of space! I think Danny Anus should come and give a lecture to her class about the cunning art of shitting on paper with hot glue and glitter.
15 Jared: Look at how clever I am // Sep 23, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Artist statement on “Look At How Clever I Am”
In this piece you will notice that there are no lines here. There is no glass and no frame. There is no steel, clay, bronze, or canvas. My piece, “Look At How Clever I Am” is a study of the being of nothingness in modern society. Without borders, this piece is always only as big as the space in which it is contained. It forces the viewer to take a more myopic view of their surroundings, focusing on the space between them and the wall. It is not the floor. It is not the wall. It is the space between the viewer and anything else around them. A commentary on isolation.
-”Look At How Clever I Am” is currently here on loan from the artist, but may be purchased for $385, 000.
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