Who was the fucking retard that decided to push this lame idea on the public? Hey lets take rich creamy ice cream and freeze it to the point it looks like gravel. Maybe morons will eat it and rant about it to their friends. Assholes.
Dippin’ Dots Suck.
They say Dippin’ Dots is the “Ice Cream of the Future!” I hope I die before the future gets here because its going to suck a wet turd when all these douchebags are walking around eating futuristic desserts. Why is it futuristic anyways? Ice cream is a luxury and when the bombs fall… NOBODY will be able to eat it!!!
So Ive had Dippin’ Dots a few times and it took me that many times to realize how its nothing but a cheap gimmick of repackaging something people already like. First off it looks like little pebbles or rocks. Gravel is not appetizing looking to anybody. It does not make anyone’s mouth water. Eating Dippin’ Dots make me feel like I’m eating flavorless dry cat or dog food… that melts into ice cream. I love Ice cream!!! Why do I have to eat these little frozen rocks to get ice cream?!?!?! It was driving me insane and I could not enjoy it. I was surrounded by assholes who were ranting and raving about how “different” and “tasty” it is. Huh? This?
Ice cream is a delicious and smooth desert dream!!! Nobody hates ice cream!!! Its amazing in many many ways from in a cone to on a sandwich to whatever. You really cant go wrong with ice cream.
Well YES you can… and YES they did.
I’m gonna go get some soft serve and watch a futuristic, post-apocalyptic action movie. No Ice cream there.
18 responses so far ↓
1 madsilver // Jul 11, 2008 at 7:22 am
i agree, i never saw the big deal. not to mention the cost of this future ice cream is about as much as ice cream will be in the future, you know with rising gas prices. i bet almost every comment left by a girl will be defending this silly joke of a product. for some reason girld love it, like that movie “drop dead fred” if you go to a party and say “i hate that movie drop dead fred” a girl will turn around and say ” i love that movie’ now you can add dip n dots as well.
2 Emily Zager // Jul 11, 2008 at 9:12 am
FUCK YOU, Danny Anus. I love Dippin’ Dots. LOVE THEM. In fact, I am going to buy them tonight at the Royals’ game that my husband and I are taking you to, and I am going to eat them right in front of you and talk nonstop for the rest of the night about how fucking good they are. And then I will buy some more, and I will shove those frozen goods up your GIANT ASS HOLE.
3 Sean // Jul 11, 2008 at 10:05 am
Almost anytime something gets labeled as futuristic or “of the future”, it inevitably sucks ass. Things that are going to be popular/useful in the future don’t get predetermined as such, they just are. When soda came out nobody said it was going to be the water of the future. When toilet paper came out nobody said it was the corncob of the future. When TV first came on the market I highly doubt anybody said it was the radio of the future etc…
Well anyways, one of my friends loves dippin dots and she’d kill me if she knew I was posting this.
4 Emily Zager // Jul 11, 2008 at 10:33 am
I’ll kill you, Sean, and I don’t even know you.
5 Matthew Zager // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:01 am
I have never known a man who loves dippin dots. Most have one opinion on them… “why does my girlfriend/wife/date fucking love this ridiculously overpriced ice cream?” I don’t know what it is, but women fucking love this crap… Wait I do know what it is, It is something that is overpriced that they can con horny men into buying for them! I bet they all get together and swap “how I duped my boyfriend/husband into buying dippin dots for me yet again and despite breaking him financially, I still won’t lick his balls” stories. The worst part is Dippin Dot’s were created by a man.
P.S. Emily, what flavor would you like tonight, chocolate, rainbow…?
6 Danny Anus // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:03 am
Wow… first pissed off comment was from a woman. Way to call it MadSilver
7 Wolcott, man from the future // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:10 am
I recently visited your time and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why you people reject such a superior product… Trust me, your children and your childrens children will welcome Dippin Dot’s with open arms. Read more here:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/time_traveler_everyone_in_the
8 Melbert the Magnificent // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:12 am
desert or dessert… learn how to spell loser… or edit.. your choice
9 Emily Zager // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:13 am
I’ll fucking kill all of you.
Chocolate would be nice, my love.
10 Matthew Zager // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:16 am
Of course women get pissed off, Anus… They fear we will all band together and refuse to buy Dippin Dots or worse yet they may be forced into performing pleasurable sex acts on the men who have given so much of themselves to ensure their happiness in exchange for Dippin Dots!!
11 Emily Zager // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:22 am
Both of you can lick my balls.
12 Matthew Zager // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:23 am
I know how to spell loser, M-E-L-B-E-R-T!
13 Danny Anus // Jul 11, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Dear Melbert the Twat,
Dessert is spelled with TWO S’s. Read the article again. Know how to spell Twat?
T-W-A-T. Twat.
Love Danny Anus
14 Sean // Jul 11, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Why are they called “dippin” dots anyways? You don’t dip them, you scoop them. They should be called scoopin dots. Sorry if this sounds like a Seinfeld routine.
15 Danny Anus // Jul 11, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Thats true. Where does the Dippin’ come in anyways???
16 Jared: Never have, never will // Jul 13, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Why pay to eat up
Milk and flavor sprayed into
Liquid nitrogen?
*Haiku*
I never knew that women felt so strongly about grainy ice cream. Perhaps it is only because it is the most easily accessible version of molecular gastronomy, the postmodernist deconstruction of foods that deliver old flavors in new formats.
Were they to label themselves as proprietors of molecular gastronomy, they could charge three times as much as they do.
17 Emily Zager // Jul 13, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Maybe if your balls more resembled the icy deliciousness of Dippin’ Dots, more women would lick them.
18 Lardy Be // Jul 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm
@Jared: Never have, never will: What are you doing later?
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