Wow what a total waste of every ones time. A giant group of rich assholes all wearing their best spandex and running for some who gives a shit cause. Some of them push strollers… some bring their dogs… but ALL of them are useless twats with no better way to make themselves feel superior.
Marathons suck.
Next time you see a marathon… look at the runners closely. Its like a fucking blizzard there is so much WHITE. White upper class fucksticks who just ADORE the idea of doing something for an important cause. Regular people don’t run in marathons, just people who really like to feel good about themselves for doing nothing. People that crave accomplishments and accolades like dogs love eating their own shit.
After their unimportant and utterly useless show of human compassion… they like to remember it forever. They keep the little number they wore… or a piece of “YOU DID IT!!!” paper…or maybe even a picture of them running in the marathon breaking a sweat. They will pull this out of a drawer or a shoebox every now and then and sigh a huge douchebag sigh of relief knowing that they made a difference. They too, did run with shorts on, with other rich white people. Then they can imagine a child or an elderly person that might have been helped by their pompous spectacle of generosity, and sleep better at night in their giant asshole bed.
If these fucking people are so concerned with the well being of others… they should go to 3rd world countries and give THEM money. Donate to a hospital. Give to homeless shelters. There are THOUSANDS of ways rich white people can help others. Not all of them involve the public display of physical excercise for a good cause however. Well Shit.
Another reason why Marathons suck a fat cock is that the city will go out of its way to close off streets and entire sections of the city to allow these morons the public space to show off their good deeds. They cant all run around a huge circle in a field or something. Nobody would see it, or care for that matter. It MUST be seen. So regular people trying to get to work or just enjoying their day off have to sit… and wait… wasting precious gasoline and time either waiting for them to pass, or trying to find a way around the line of running ass clowns. All of this… so that these fucktards can have a number on their chest and a memory of being generous. Oh and maybe a t-shirt.
Wanna be generous? Do you really care? Then fucking stay home and send a check. Its more appreciated and Im sure you could even get a trophy or something that proves you helped out in the fight against… whatever.
7 responses so far ↓
1 vonn // Jun 7, 2008 at 12:33 pm
this is a touchy subject bada douche. I guess as long as the charities are getting some money for the less fortunate. even if it takes a bunch a rich asshole braggers than so be it. However they should totally have to sign a vow of silence or a non-bragging clause,. I could totally run a marathon too…Uh if I wanted to
2 Emily Riede-Zags // Jun 7, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Look, I come from a family of rich fucksticks and not a single one of them has ever run a marathon. The rich fucksticks prefer to advertise in, donate to, and then brag about their contributions to said charity. Or they go “fast” in Florida for six months to show what good Rich Christians they are.
On a serious note… Look up “Marathon” in Wikipedia. Not ALL marathons are run for charity you fucking dipshit. Some are simply for recreational reasons, or perhaps even a competitive event. I know a couple of people who do marathons, triathalons, etc. and they do not do it for a cause. They do it for their own personal reasons, such as staying in shape, or maybe even because they simply enjoy the challenge and the t-shirts. I have never heard either of my said friends speak of “doing it for a cause” so maybe you should set the booze aside and try it yourself. Maybe you’d actually fucking enjoy it, you HUGE DICK.
PS. I think you’d look hot in short spandex shorts.
3 Danny Anus // Jun 7, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Dear Emily,
Great. So some of these complete wastes of human bodies are blocking up streets and highways… FOR NOTIHNG??? Just to stay in shape? That sucks even more than false generosity. Thats just plain old egomania.
If you want to get into shape, get a gym membership and get the fuck out of my way before I hit you with my car
Love Danny Anus
4 Emily Riede-Zags // Jun 7, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Hey don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just here to inform.
5 poopsmith mcgee // Jun 7, 2008 at 2:05 pm
What about the Kenyans? They run all the fucking time…sometimes from lions and shit.
6 Jim Russell // Jun 8, 2008 at 1:59 pm
What about the Jerry Lewis Marathon? The one for the dying kids? That one sucks too! I remember one year I missed some Golden Girls re-runs because of that fat bastard! I betcha those fucking kids die anyway.
7 Lardy Be // Jun 9, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Guys in tight shorts are so hot right now!
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