Man do I miss me some Saturday Morning Cartoons. I was born in the 70’s, so I was lucky enough to be a youngster during the last wave of them before they were destroyed in the name of Fascism. Well that and progress. Oh and don’t forget the money. Its always the fucking money.
I wont get into a grand or expansive history of the cartoons that aired on Saturdays from 8am to 12pm from from the early 60’s up to 1992 , but ill just say that… wait, that pretty much sums it up.
Moving on.
There were original cartoons like The Jetsons and The Flinstones… you know… your Hannah-Barbera cartoons… all your Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck stuff. You had super heroes like Spiderman and his Amazing Friends… The Incredible Hulk. The Smurfs and Scooby Doo… Alvin and the Chipmunks, Muppet Babies… There were some great live action shows like Land of the Lost and Pee Wee’s Playhouse, and even educational stuff like Schoolhouse Rock. The list is WAY too long to go through… but I gotta admit, it was kinda cool seeing shows Id forgotten about when looking up the lists, like The Littles and The Snorks. Wait those shows sucked.
So in the late 60’s a whole slew of parental lobby groups and worrisome assholes too paranoid for their own good came down on the makers of these cartoons and the networks that employed them and proposed all sorts of guidelines and stipulations about programming. They cited that Saturday morning cartoons were too violent… too influential…and sometime presented anti-social attitudes and stereotypes (In a nutshell).
I found this… it explains it pretty well.
“These groups proceeded to the point where the very depiction of conflict and jeopardy and the basic elements of any drama or suspense were severely restricted, and the artists were left with few avenues of expression or storytelling. The prohibition against the depiction of any anti-social elements often prompted conformist stories, such as in the Smurfs series, where almost any individual initiative often resulted in trouble for the group and therefore had to be avoided at all costs.”
What the fuck??? Is this a George Orwell book? What kind of fucking fascists are these people anyways??? Like I said before, these people were rich, paranoid, and bored asshole parents with nothing better to do than try their aim at being SUPERPARENT. Better than all the parents in the Universe!!!! Up Up and Away!!!!! (into my asshole). I hope their kids all turned out to be drug addicted, handjob giving streetwalkers with Hepatitis.
OK so to make a long story short… eventually the advertisers pulled out because ratings were so low it no longer was in their best interests. That’s because kids stopped watching cartoons for a number of reasons. Cable TV and home video games like Atari and Nintendo were becoming available. The advent of home video made it possible for kid to watch their favorite shows ANY time without commercial interruptions. First run animated programs went directly into syndication, like The Transformers, G. I. Joe, and He-Man… and didn’t air on Saturday mornings, so the restrictions did not apply to them. That’s why those shows kick so much ass.
But mainly… the shows plain sucked. There had been regulations passed to make ALL programming before noon on Saturdays educational or informative to the viewer. Which means that all the shows turned to shit and died a horrible death. Watch Saturday morning programming now and you’ll see what I mean. Now the shows are designed for retard flipper babies and kids that spit bubbles well into their teens.
Why do children have to always be learning for gods sake??? Cant they just fucking relax sometimes? They’ve been at school fucking learning all week long!!! Kids need a little Woody Woodpecker and Thundarr the Barbarian at the end of the week to wind down. They wont get to drink on the weekends until they are much, much older. At least give them that.
But they didn’t. Due to restrictions and the eventual progression of the marketplace, It just wasn’t profitable or possible to make good programming on Saturday mornings any longer… and it still isn’t.
I think that sucks.
Thanks and special mention to Eric Hyder… who brought this excellent topic to my attention. Thanks Eric.
You don’t suck.
18 responses so far ↓
1 Emily Riede-Zag-Face // May 29, 2008 at 8:50 am
I agree. For once in my life I agree with you. Cartoons today totally suck.
My example does not go as far back as some of yours, mine is more from the late 80’s or so… but recently, when I was sick, and had nothing else to do, I was scrolling through the Saturday morning channels looking for something to watch. I see “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” on the guide list and think, “Cool! I could revisit my youth a little, here… see how those turtle dudes are doing.”
No. Not hardly. The turtles have sold out to fancy looking animation. They have no personalities. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of the 80’s were quirky and funny and cool… me and my friends, yes, us GIRLS, would argue over who got to pretend to be Michelangelo that day, or who got to be Raphael, or who was lucky enough to be the busty April O’Neill. These newfangled turtles?
It was disappointing. My nephews don’t know what they’re missing.
2 Dripping Matthew Zager // May 29, 2008 at 8:51 am
First of all where do you get the nerve insulting the mighty Flip Flop?
Moving on, great blog, it is a real shame what has become of cartoons… Outside of just the shitty stories, the artwork and animation has become awful.
3 Going to piss off my wife Matthew Zager // May 29, 2008 at 8:54 am
I see your point, Emily, but it should be noted that the 80’s TMNT was a watered down version of the comic book on which it was based. From what I understand the new cartoon is more accurate to the original comic… Somebody correct me if I have this all wrong.
4 Emily Riede-Zag-Face // May 29, 2008 at 8:59 am
Shouldn’t you be driving to work right now, ASS HOLE?
5 Emily Riede-Zag-Face // May 29, 2008 at 9:00 am
And I was just saying I LIKED the watered down version better, dick.
6 Emily Riede-Zag-Face // May 29, 2008 at 9:32 am
See, here’s the thing for me… I never READ the comic books… of TMNT or anything else. So whether a cartoon is true to the cartoon version or not, is not even relevant to me. All I am saying, is, as a 10 year old girl, I was a total sucker for the 80’s version of TMNT. If their aim was to get young girls to be fans of the show, it worked, because like I stated above, my friends and I role-played TMNT and argued over who got to be which turtle.
I also liked Rainbow Brite. I was a fan of Smurfette. See? I am a total girl. Therefore I liked the watered down, girl-appealing version of TMNT.
7 For the love of GOD Matthew Zager // May 29, 2008 at 10:04 am
I said “I see your point”, and whether or not you like the 80’s version better doesn’t matter, that’s fine… I was just pointing out that the current version is not a sell out, but is a more serious, accurate adaptaion of the original comic. I remember when I was younger, many older comic book readers were horrified by the animated series… It would be like a Star Wars cartoon where Han Solo and company gorge themselves on hamburgers and shout “YEEE-HAAAW” and call each other “Partner” all the time.
8 benevolent bloke // May 29, 2008 at 11:09 am
You hit the nail right on the head. I grew up in the 70’s so I remember good cartoon shows, which pretty much started to wane after parent groups complained that they were too violent (Bugs Bunny too violent? WTF?) The current batch of cartoons pretty much suck. I used to have to sit through pokemon cartoons with my nephew when he was younger, and that stuff was torture.
There have been some decent cartoons in the past 20 years or so (Justice League, Batman: The Animated Series, several selections from Adult Swim on the cartoon network, etc.), but for the most part they’re just advertisements for crappy toys and such.
I do like some anime, though, but good stuff like Death Note, Trigun, and Cowboy BeBop. Not crap like Dragonball Z.
9 Danny Anus // May 29, 2008 at 11:26 am
Cowboy Bebop is great. The only good anime thing out there in my not so humble opinion.
10 Marshall's Sticky Veal Parmesan // May 29, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Not to stick up too much for the cartoons nowadays, but let’s be honest here. The “Super Friends” sucked. “Scooby Doo” sucked. “Heathcliff” sucked. Granted all the old Hannah/Barbera and Looney Toones are amazing, but even in the 70’s by then the cartoons were just generic crap for the sake of crap. Don’t let nostalgia
blind you from the truth. Oh yeah, Dragonball Z rules!!!!!
11 Danny Anus // May 29, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Jesus Christ. Its about Cartoons on SATURDAY MORNING. Not all cartoons. Not NEW cartoons. Im talking about SATURDAY MORNINGS and how the cartoons on SATURDAU MORNING suck.
12 Tyler Durden // May 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Ah, Saturday morning cartoons. I remember the good ol’ days when I couldn’t wait to wake up and partake in the joy of good cartoons. Bugs Bunny, Smurfs, ShirtTales, Bravestar, He Man, and my favorite cartoon from the 80’s, Voltron. It was a comforting feeling knowing that every Saturday morning I could wake up, pour a bowl of Fruity Pebbles or Lucky Charms and sit down for a few hours of entertaining tv without having to be educated. If they’d put the old school cartoons back on regular tv on Saturday mornings, maybe I’d have a reason to turn the tube on again. For now, I guess it’s crappy cartoons or golf. Or I guess we could always keep the tv off and get our asses outside. But who wants to do that?
13 Lardy Be // May 29, 2008 at 3:21 pm
It wasn’t a cartoon but I have fond, warm memories of watching American Gladiators on Saturday morning.
14 Jared: Animated, Even though I'm decomposing // May 30, 2008 at 12:05 pm
One of my favorite memories of being a kid is when I was six and my brother was four. The two of us went downstairs in our underoos to watch TV. The next thing we knew, it was lunch time. What can be better than having an excuse to hangout in your underwear for long periods of time?
Advertisers, bad
Parents groups say, “Censor all!”
No heart or soul left
*Haiku*
15 Trent, 1st klass // Jun 1, 2008 at 12:52 pm
all of these great cartoon referrences and no mention of the herculoids? shame on you…gloop and gleep were classic! i’m gonna go put my head back in the oven…
16 Danny Anus // Jun 2, 2008 at 10:26 am
Wasnt there a cartoon where a teenager turned into a red sports car or something? What was that called?
17 Trent, 1st klass // Jun 8, 2008 at 8:20 am
turbo-teen…holy crap…
18 Danny Anus // Jun 8, 2008 at 9:28 am
TURBO TEEN!!!!! YES!!!
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