Guy Ricthie is a hack director who makes confusing and complicated shitty movies. A lot of people say that he hasn’t made a good movie since he married Madonna. I think they’re all bad.
Any time I’m watching one of his movies I feel like I’m about to have a goddamn seizure. Is it really necessary to have that many quick cuts in a movie? Halfway through that huge suck fest Snatch I felt a pounding in my brain that usually means I’m hung over. I wasn’t. I was completely lost and confused by the 2 dozen characters and witty profane banter I was forced to keep up with. I think Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels is about some guys… who are stealing guns… or rescuing guns from other guys… and there is a crime boss… and I think Phil Collins is in it. Or Sting. Same fucking difference. There are some black guys… and some slow mo camera work… and some other shit I don’t remember. Snatch is about the same thing… only there is a diamond involved… and Brad Pitt along with Benicio Del Blah Blah Blah. Oh and there are more guys in it. More British guys…. and some boxing. They speak alot with accents and then cock weapons and then cool techno music starts. I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.
I could go on for a while… but I wont. You get the idea.
I once heard someone say that Guy Ricthie is England’s answer to Quentin Tarantino.
Q.T. is a genius filmmaker. His films are invigorating and a joy to watch. Guy Ritchie just has a camera and some douchebags with accents and guns. Oh yeah and a whore for a wife. But that’s okay… because whores rule.
Guy Ritchie Sucks.
8 responses so far ↓
1 madsilver // May 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm
i agree, people defend lock stock but it is also a peice of crap, snatch is as stinky as its title sugests. i can turn my camera upside down and film an sction scene as well, then pause and have jason statham (who really sucks, no article needed) say in an over narative something like “bullocks” and then bust into a spinning camera trick cut to a man getiing shot, poop poop poop
2 Madonna // May 29, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I like to watch movies with me in them.
3 Emily Riede-Zag-Face // May 29, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Do you hate his daughter Nicole, too?
4 Scott the Greek // May 29, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I’m assuming no one here saw Swept Away, right? Yea, neither did I. Didn’t he, or does he have a movie coming out where everyone was all like, “hooray! It’s a return to form! More British Tarantino ripoffs!”
He’s such a tampon.
5 Danny Anus // May 30, 2008 at 9:32 am
Yeah Scott I think it was called Revolver. I remember seeing a trailer for it and thinking, Really? Another one?
6 Jared: Animated, Even though I'm decomposing // May 30, 2008 at 12:13 pm
[Movie] is about some guy who are stealing guns (and) rescuing guns from other guys. There is a crime boss. There (is)… some slow mo camera work. [Movie] (has) a diamond involved and (Big Movie stars) and some boxing. They speak alot with accents and then cock weapons and then cool techno music starts.
In this re-edit of your article, what is there to not like about these movies? The fact that you don’t see tits? The fact that you can’t understand when British people speak? Is it just a little bit too flash and stylish for your rejectionist personality?
Is it Guy Richie?
Or is it the editor
That is your problem?
*Haiku*
7 Danny Anus // May 30, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Style over substance = Shit in my mouth.
Theyre boring movies involving people I dont care about as a viewer. I feel like Ive seen 1000 movies like his… and they were all better.
8 Steven paul // Jun 3, 2008 at 11:26 pm
We’ll have to see if RocknRolla will be good or Blowa I’ll get back to you on this.
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