Guess What Sucks

 
    Wow what a hipster paradise.  Boring, hem hawing music that would put a rabid baboon to sleep… played by uninteresting looking guys from a far away icy tundra.    I used to hear morons and douche bags rant about how incredible these guys were.  Id never heard them before so I gave them a listen.  [...]

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     Doesn’t it suck when a woman refuses to suck your balls?   I mean come on… whats the deal here?
You’re down there… and you know we really want it, yet you don’t.  You refuse.  You act like there’s cancer all over them or something.  Don’t gimme that ”well Ill touch them”  or  “Ill play with them… but [...]

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   Ugh.  Green Bell Peppers Suck.
   They have the distinct honor of being the most disgusting and nauseating of all the peppers known in existence.  They taint everything that they come into contact with.  They ruin amazing dishes like the Denver omelet. Philly cheese steaks are amazingly tasty… unless you add the green little bastards to them, [...]

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     I saw Trainspotting 3 or 4 times in the theatre when It was first released.  I was a teenager at the time,  and the idea of drugs I knew nothing about… mixed with thick accents from countries I’d never been to… along with a cool soundtrack, seemed irresistible to me.   Boy was I a young [...]

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      OK ill give it up to Al Pacino for The Godfather.  He was brilliant in it.  Id even go so far to say that he was amazing in Dog Day Afternoon… and even Serpico was pretty good.  Heat… Carlito’s Way… The Insider…  all great movies.  He has had his moments.
   But that’s it.  A handful [...]

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      Guy Ricthie is a hack director who makes confusing and complicated shitty movies. A lot of people say that he hasn’t made a good movie since he married Madonna.  I think they’re all bad. 
    Any time I’m watching one of his movies I feel like I’m about to have a goddamn seizure.  Is it [...]

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          Man do I miss me some Saturday Morning Cartoons.  I was born in the 70’s,  so I was lucky enough to be a youngster during the last wave of them before they were destroyed in the name of Fascism.  Well that and progress.  Oh and don’t forget the money.  Its always the fucking money.
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          Wouldn’t it be nice if music transported us to a beach somewhere?  A cool and beautiful beach that reminds us of summer and fun in the sun… (YAWN)  and uhhh…   flip flops and uhhh…  Jesus I’m exhausted.  I mean If a guy who plays an acoustic guitar can wear flip flops and [...]

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     Apparently there are people out there who think that this douche bag is funny.  Its obvious to anyone with half a brain and no water on it that he sucks.  Did Comedy Central just pick a Hispanic comedian out of a hat (possibly a sombrero?) to fill their demographic hole?   I can just imagine a [...]

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      Dear God in the motherfucking sky.  Whose idea was Ketchup?  A sweet, disgusting goo that’s artificially colored red… because if you saw the real color….  you’d see it was really brown.  That’s right.  I’m talking about poo poo.
   OK seriously… enough with the childish remarks.   Ketchup is a fucking abomination to the condiment world.  [...]

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